Letter to romeo

Okay,

today is november 2nd...
i don't know where i should be happy or not
it supposed to be our... wait... 3rd years anniversary?

yeah,
it supposed to be

but now you're there with someone on your side

pernah ada yang nanya ke gue, gue nyesel gak sih pernah kenal dia?
jawabannya, nggak, gue gak nyesel pernah kenal dia
tapi..
gue nyesel membuang terlalu banyak waktu sama dia like about 2 years?!?!
gue nyesel membuang terlalu banyak waktu buat disakitin
gue nyesel membuang banyak waktu buat nangisin dia
gue nyesel terlalu berjuang untuk orang yang justru selama ini nyoba lepasin gue
gue nyesel terlalu belain dan banggain orang yang bahkan gak merasa beruntung punya gue
gue nyesel terlalu berharap sama orang yang bisa dengan teganya jatohin harapan gue
gue nyesel bergantung sama orang yang akhirnya malah bilang gue cuman pager buat dia
gue nyesel berlama lama sedih buat orang yang gabisa hargain gue
gue nyesel mau aja dijadiin pelarian
gue nyesel pernah jadiin dia segalanya in case dia cuman jadiin gue option dia
gue nyesel berjuang sendirian, terlalu lama.

tapi gue gak pernah nyesel kenal dia (as what so called 'friend') toh people came to your life either to be a present or a mistake.
he might be one of many mistakes which came into my life and mistakes make you learn that no matter how much they say they would always be there for you, they'll leave, you have to learn how to struggle alone. People are poison, time makes them turn into someone they said they'll never be, time's a bitch.

but i do believe in karma, anyway.
what goes around, comes back around.
apa yang lo tanem, itu yang lo tuai.
sejauh apapun lo ngelempar bumerang, dia akan balik
banyak kiasan lah untuk itu.

when you truly love someone that you would die for them, but suddenly they broke you
they leave you. Alone, you would never know how does it feels, even when there were still both of you, she fight for you, fight for your lovely family, fight for her friends who already told her to give up but she still into you, fight for everyone who's trying to knock you down. she way trying her best but you DID NOT even notice her, idk how to explain that more till you really understand, but someday you'll pay for your sins. mark my words

not today, but eventually

well, gak penting sih

if he gets one it means he have to learn more, if not it's okay too

i've learned to be a better person, i mean i will prove to everyone who once underestimated me that they're no better, they speak too much. Revenge is sweet, dear.

no shit honey, we're all human, we're all made of the same kind of bones and bloods.

i once told you to have a nice life and i'm having a nice life, anyway
at least, for now
hope you having one too
haha lagian you seems fine through life, right?

i will never be so hard on myself now,
learn to forgive, learn to let go

i mean i feel like i'm pushing myself everyday, i've been too hard to myself

and i won't be so hard on myself no more

and anywaaaaay your name didn't make me smile anymore
either make me sad too, your name didn't make me feel anything

i'm sooooo glad akhirnya bisa lepas,
gaperlu ngerasa marah, kesel, or even hate

it feels so good to move on, you know?

gak perlu harus nyari pengganti atau siapapun, i have tooons of friends
i prove that they actually there, mostly when he reminds me of those shitty memories
i prove that they were there to cheer me up
a big
big
big
big thanks for them
esp. my one and only bestfriend

well, my last 3 words goes to my lovely dolly molly ex-partner,

Nice to meet you, fuckboy.


life's so good without you







--Adel

Untitled

I would not show that i was afraid, but being and feeling alone was too much to face.

though everyone said that i was so strong what they didn't know is that i could barely carry on

but, i knew i would be fine

sometimes it all gets a little too much but i know that soon the fog will clear up.

i always tell myself "i could do this"

i would use no help it would be just fine

but, when it got hard sometimes i lose my focus..

and need anyone's hand or even arms just to make me sure everything's gonna be alright.

--

i could really blocked him on all those social media but i just couldn't really block him from my life.

i'm-so-sorry if it all seems a little too much

but, believe me

it's harder than you could imagine

i just couldn't be this strong anymore

it's like i was lying to people, i lie myself out

i might hate him so much now, but why this have to be harder?

he told me this is for the best, but guess it's all for his best not mine

he got his happiness, but neither do i

he got his special someone, but neither do i

he got his own perfection shape of life, but once again.. neither do i

i might hate him, even just to see his face i always throw my face up or down, though he wouldn't realize it.

i might hate him, but i always pray for his more happiness

hope he'll pray for mine

path

line

instagram

whatsapp

snapchat

out of those social media

i've already blocked him

so i don't have to see how happy he was without me

i don't have to see how happy he was with his new one

i have my own way to erase some people out of my life

guess we really ended up here,

goodbye won't be enough to tell how broke i am

but i believe it will be fine

sooooooooooooo long,

partner

--Adel

18

He's cute
adorable

those brown eyes remind me something comfortable
those good smells of his body could be my favorite smell alive
those thick eyebrow ooooomygod could be greatest shape of eyebrow ever

he's funny
he's different
he might be asshole, but that's fine
every boys are assholes anyway

apalagi kalo senyum asdfghjkl couldn't imagine how's empty this life could be
he's gentle
his very thin mustache soooo vamp
his perfect shape of lips, soo kissable

idk, he's just almost perfect

Happy birthday!

"Turn the page, maybe we'll find a brand new ending"

Happy belated birthday, dear old mate.
Dari semua wishes, aku cuman pengen yang terbaik buat kamu.
Dari semua wishes, aku cuman pengen kamu seneng.

If only we could really turn back the times, but we couldn't

how you looked so happy last year

with those balloons in that studio,

and our picture under the balloons,

and your name written by the ballons too,

or how your friends pretended they know nothing,

how happy you were, last year
But, i just made it better yesterday.

How i planned the plans to make sure your lovely people gather in one place,
your favorite place with your favorite people
just to make you feel home, i want you to know how wonderful it feels to be like home
i want you to know how's home does feel

Di umur baru kamu, sekarang kamu bisa jalanin kehidupan baru kamu yang jelas harus lebih bahagia dari yang sebelum sebelumnya, okay?
lagian aku udah janji, bakal kasih yang terbaik kan sebelum harinya dateng kan?

once again, happy birthday..
..sepatu kanan




Love,
Adel

Brand New Life

"Gakusah repot repot memaksa sesuatu yang emang gakbisa lo capai sekarang, kalo emang Tuhan bilang sesuatu itu punya lo, dia akan balik"

if it really belongs to you, it will be.

Gue tau sekarang apa yang pantas buat gue, buat gue kedepannya.
I let him go, for his good own ways, for his happiness, for himself

Gue udah mulai bisa pelan-pelan ikhlas.
Bukan, bukan karena dia udah keganti sama orang lain, atau gue yg tergantikan
Tapi, karena gue tau kalo emang dia yang terbaik, dia pasti pulang.

Mulai sekarang, gue bakal jalanin kehidupan gue seperti ini, ya jalanin hubungan selayaknya teman sama dia, or might be like normal bestfriend but less than lover of course

Karena, kita sama-sama harus terbiasa.

He'll always be my best partner, ever

Okay, ayo kita ganti topik!

How about.....how suck and complicated collage's life i had?
Susah banget. susah banget adaptasi dengan lingkungan baru gue
Lingkungan kampus gue

the people
gue gak bilang temen-temen gue aneh, they're awesome as hell. Tapi, gue belom nyaman. Susah, gue belom ngerasa bener bener jadi diri gue, depan mereka

the lessons
oh my fuck, the lessons are so difficult to be understood. SUSAH BANGET
ehtah karena kapasitas otak gue yang sangat minim atau emang pelajarannya susah?!

the foods
THEY'RE DEFINITELY BORING. Di kantin kampus gue, makanannya itu itu aja.
gue ulangin ya, i t u i t u a j a. Dari sekian banyak booths. Most of them sells the same kind of food.
Gimana gue gak bosen?

the times and distances
Udah pasti. Makan waktu dan jarak nya jauh banget borrrr dari rumah gue, gak boong.

those kind of stuffs which makes me feel like im done with these college life.
Pengen masuk jurusan dan kampus dimana emang passion gue disitu.
No one would understand this feeling.
Galau nya tuh sekarang bener-bener galau universitas, gak tau mau curhat ke siapa. Rasanya gak ada yang support aja gitu

Honestly, sometimes i think language is my thing, but suddenly my brain goes away attack this kind of feeling. People couldn't stop mocking at this thing, they mock about the decision i choosed.
How dare 'em right?

Mereka gak pernah sih bener bener ngerasain rasanya ngejalanin sesuatu yang lo yakin itu bener bener bukan lo banget.

Okay, enough for today. I need a looooooot of bed rest, pusing banget dari pagi ngotak ngatik soal terus *nasib orang yang sedang berjuang*


C' ya!

ADEL

What really patient means

i bet you're all have done regret something you've made

the decision you choose

or sometimes you don't even get a chance

gue pernah nyesel, sering malah.

belakangan gue nyesel karena takut stay sama orang yang salah

kadang, yang orang mau cuman dipastiin

bukan dikasih harapan terus

semua orang butuh kepastian

atau..

mereka akan cari yang lebih pasti dan menjamin kebahagiaan mereka

he may not the most romantic boy all over the world, but i though he's the one

the one i gave my everything to, the one i shared all my private secrets with, the one who loves me the most

everyday i was wondering was he really here? karena menurut gue, dia udah pergi lama

gue nyesel udah sabar sama hal yang salah, mulai sekarang ive made my own option.

gue lebih milih buat diam, bukan berarti gue sabar lagi. 

gue nyesel buang semua kesempatan gue, nyesel udah being this stupid, this foolish. Gue nyesel

gue diem sekarang, 

gue akan tetep diem tanpa harus ninggalin dia, gue akan diem tanpa harus pergi, gue akan selamanya jadi temen doang, gue akan tergantikan, dan gue gak akan nuntut apa-apa lagi, gue bakal terus terusan disini cuman nungguin kereta yang menuju bandung di stasiun depok, gak akan datang tapi gue tetep nunggu dengan diam 

one day, gue harap dia sadar, dia udah kehilangan 1 orang yang udah pernah nyoba segalanya buat dia, ngorbanin apapun dengan cara apapun.

i though youre going to lose one your little treasure of your life, but so do i.

gue pun akan kehilangan hal yang sama, kali ini dengan gue yakin bisa terima konsekuensinya

im going to be stronger too, 

ini bakal jadi posting terakhir tentang lo, you need to stop look at this stupid page cause your name aint gonna be here forever, i promise

goodbye dear old mate,

for now, you're going to be my forever bestfriend nor lover

i love you

Priority

what if your most priority thing you've hold on too long have his another priority?

I certainly can not do anything

Pas lo ngerasa gak diinginin lagi, ya emang lo bisa apa?

Pas lo ngerasa "ya dia udah punya prioritas barunya dia"

gue cuman bisa ikut seneng,

nggak.

Gue gak bilang dia udah gantiin gue, gue cuman bilang dia berubah

But, people changed anyway. That's how life going to be

i'll always stand for him, he'll always be my number one priority

gue aja kali yang bego karena terlalu cengeng sama hal-hal sepeleh

"Karena air mata tak cukup mengucap cinta" that's what nino and raisa said on their newly song

bener banget, mau berapa kali gue nangis dan berapa sering gue jelasin semuanya i bet you won't understand how does it feel

gue udah bukan gue yang dulu, dia tau itu

gue tau dia gak bisa nerima itu, gue tau selama ini dia hanya masih sedang nyoba buat stay

gue tau selama ini kita cuman nyoba buat boongin diri masing-masing

gue emang udah waktunya buat berubah, gue gakbisa gini gini aja

banyak yang harus gue pikirin, banyak tanggung jawab yang gue pegang apalagi 2 adek perempuan gue. Gue pegang tanggung jawab mereka, gue udah harus bisa ngerubah prioritas gue. Gue harus kerja, harus bisa kuliah yang bener, jadi orang yang lebih kuat, be a better person

Bukan gue mau maen balas-balasan, tapi gue gakbisa terus terusan memprioritaskan hal yang gak memprioritaskan gue. Sayang itu butuh timbal balik, kan?

I still fall in love with you over and over, everyday and i dont know how to make it less than i ever did, tapi prioritas itu beda cerita.

apa gue udah harus belajar buat ngelepas berlian gue?

gue yakin apa yang gakbisa jadi masa depan gue, akan sangat bermanfaat buat orang lain. Gue akan dapet yg sepanter sama gue, gak yakin akan lebih baik tapi senggaknya dia seneng dan lebih bisa buat dapet yang lebih.. much much much better than me

daripada gue terus terusan ngeluh karena hal yang sama, dan dia capek denger semuanya. Im pretty sure your parents would totally agree with the desicion i took, they want to make you happier, they want the best thing comes to you. 

Kamu ganteng, bisa dapet yang lebih.

dan aku juga bisakok lapang dada sama semuanya

lagian semua ada hikmahnya kan?

Gue akan tetep nyoba yang terbaik kok,

buat lo