today is november 2nd...
i don't know where i should be happy or not
it supposed to be our... wait... 3rd years anniversary?
yeah,
it supposed to be
but now you're there with someone on your side
pernah ada yang nanya ke gue, gue nyesel gak sih pernah kenal dia?
jawabannya, nggak, gue gak nyesel pernah kenal dia
tapi..
gue nyesel membuang terlalu banyak waktu sama dia like about 2 years?!?!
gue nyesel membuang terlalu banyak waktu buat disakitin
gue nyesel membuang banyak waktu buat nangisin dia
gue nyesel terlalu berjuang untuk orang yang justru selama ini nyoba lepasin gue
gue nyesel terlalu belain dan banggain orang yang bahkan gak merasa beruntung punya gue
gue nyesel terlalu berharap sama orang yang bisa dengan teganya jatohin harapan gue
gue nyesel bergantung sama orang yang akhirnya malah bilang gue cuman pager buat dia
gue nyesel berlama lama sedih buat orang yang gabisa hargain gue
gue nyesel mau aja dijadiin pelarian
gue nyesel pernah jadiin dia segalanya in case dia cuman jadiin gue option dia
gue nyesel berjuang sendirian, terlalu lama.
tapi gue gak pernah nyesel kenal dia (as what so called 'friend') toh people came to your life either to be a present or a mistake.
he might be one of many mistakes which came into my life and mistakes make you learn that no matter how much they say they would always be there for you, they'll leave, you have to learn how to struggle alone. People are poison, time makes them turn into someone they said they'll never be, time's a bitch.
but i do believe in karma, anyway.
what goes around, comes back around.
apa yang lo tanem, itu yang lo tuai.
sejauh apapun lo ngelempar bumerang, dia akan balik
banyak kiasan lah untuk itu.
when you truly love someone that you would die for them, but suddenly they broke you
they leave you. Alone, you would never know how does it feels, even when there were still both of you, she fight for you, fight for your lovely family, fight for her friends who already told her to give up but she still into you, fight for everyone who's trying to knock you down. she way trying her best but you DID NOT even notice her, idk how to explain that more till you really understand, but someday you'll pay for your sins. mark my words
not today, but eventually
well, gak penting sih
if he gets one it means he have to learn more, if not it's okay too
i've learned to be a better person, i mean i will prove to everyone who once underestimated me that they're no better, they speak too much. Revenge is sweet, dear.
no shit honey, we're all human, we're all made of the same kind of bones and bloods.
i once told you to have a nice life and i'm having a nice life, anyway
at least, for now
hope you having one too
haha lagian you seems fine through life, right?
i will never be so hard on myself now,
learn to forgive, learn to let go
i mean i feel like i'm pushing myself everyday, i've been too hard to myself
and i won't be so hard on myself no more
and anywaaaaay your name didn't make me smile anymore
either make me sad too, your name didn't make me feel anything
i'm sooooo glad akhirnya bisa lepas,
gaperlu ngerasa marah, kesel, or even hate
it feels so good to move on, you know?
gak perlu harus nyari pengganti atau siapapun, i have tooons of friends
i prove that they actually there, mostly when he reminds me of those shitty memories
i prove that they were there to cheer me up
a big
big
big
big thanks for them
esp. my one and only bestfriend
Nice to meet you, fuckboy.
life's so good without you
--Adel
